


Twice The Pain The Suffering

by anemic_cinema



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: No queers after the zombie apocalypse? I don't think so. Times are tough for Andrea, in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twice The Pain The Suffering

Straight women can, and will, fuck you up. Andrea knew that too well. They'd say shit about how they wished they were lesbians, because it was so much easier to be with a woman than with a man. They'd flirt with you because it was good for laughs, because it didn't count if it was with a woman. They could get you all twisted up until you were desperate for them, and kick you aside as soon as they were done with you. That didn't keep Andrea from falling hard for them, and Lori Grimes was the latest in a long line of bad emotional decisions.

Andrea could tell herself that it was nothing. After all, she was in the minority, always outnumbered by heterosexuals. It was only natural that she'd fall for someone who wouldn't even look at her twice. She joked about it with her sister and Dale, saying that she was a real straight woman magnet, but unrequited crushes are painful as fuck. It's hard to carry that kind of weight, knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. That even if you tried, nothing but hurt could come of it.

It started when they'd pulled laundry duty together for the first time. Lori managed to look amazing even wearing dirty jeans and a tank top that had seen better days. She'd pulled back her long brown hair into a ponytail, which showed off the graceful column of her neck. Even though her forehead was damp with sweat, she looked as gorgeous as anything. Andrea couldn't help but furtively watch her as they worked side by side. The way her biceps flexed as she scrubbed the clothes was hypnotizing. By the time they were done, Andrea was a goner. All she could think of is how Lori's arms would look like if she was underneath her.

That night, after she was sure Amy was asleep, she'd masturbated to thoughts of Lori above her, her long brown hair hanging down like a curtain, the tips tickling her face. It was hard to do it, considering that she was only a few feet away from her sister, but she desperately needed relief. She came mouthing out Lori's name silently against her sleeping bag.

After that, she made excuse after excuse to be around her. She volunteered to do laundry with her all the time, even though she'd always hated that particular chore. She took every fact she learned about Lori, and stored them away like important files in a court case. She memorized how her hands moved as she grasped an ax to split wood, and how she held her fork during dinner. She made sure to remember that her favorite color was blue, so when she went out on a supply run with Glenn, she snagged her a shirt in that color.

The lousy part was that Lori actually was nice to her. Genuinely nice. When Andrea gave her the new shirt, she'd hugged her and thanked her profusely. She even went so far as to ask if there was anything she could get her or do for her. Andrea bit her tongue and said it was nothing, not to worry about it, she was good.

That was a lie.

But she couldn't say, “I want you to come to my tent. I want you to lie down next to me. And I want you to stay.” Not in a million years. She didn't want to scare her away from being her friend, and she certainly couldn't say it in front of Shane.

They thought they were being slick, but everyone knew about them sneaking out into the woods to fuck. You'd have to be blind not to notice. It served as a painful reminder to Andrea that no matter what, Lori would never look at her as anything but a friend. She wasn't her type. She didn't like women. She liked macho dudes who took charge.

The night after she gave Lori the shirt, Amy had watch duty. So she laid there alone in the tent on her sleeping bag, and thought of Lori. She thought of her wearing that stupid shirt, smiling at her, and throwing her arms around her neck while she kissed her, like she wanted to hold onto her forever.

Andrea slipped her hand under her underwear and began to stroke her clit, teasing it to stiff fullness, spreading the wetness from her cunt over it. All it took was imagining Lori kissing her and she was soaked. She ran her fingers over it slowly, taking time she wasn't sure she could afford.

She thought of holding Lori's hand and leading her out into the woods, leaving Shane and the others behind, making it clear to them what they were gonna do, and there was nothing they could say about it. They'd lie on the leaves, and Andrea would do whatever Lori wanted her to do, would show her how good it felt to be with another woman. She liked imagining that Lori would ask for her mouth, and she'd happily give it to her. Andrea would ask her to straddle her face, so that all she could taste and feel was the warmth and sweetness of her cunt.

She whimpered, and moved her hand faster.

They would hold hands as Lori would fuck her face that was for certain. She'd hold onto her, not just for balance but because she wanted to, because she liked her.

Or maybe because she loved her. No. That was too much, even for just a fantasy. It was too painful to think about.

The thought of Lori coming, over and over again, her head tossed back and sounds of pleasure ringing out from that perfect throat was what pushed her over the edge. Andrea's body tensed and jerked as she worked herself through it, letting pulse after pulse of her orgasm flow through her.

As she laid there in the humid Georgia night, trying to hold onto the pleasure of the act and the fantasy, she felt a pang of intense sadness. Everything was gone. She was surrounded by death and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She had to stay alive, she knew that much. For her sister's sake at the very least. There was nothing else besides that. This goddamn crush sure as hell wasn't worth it, in fact she was pretty sure being infatuated with a straight woman who was currently fucking the de-facto leader of the group was the definition of pathetic.

But it was all she had.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Lykke Li's song "Unrequited Love." This takes place towards the beginning of World's End Boyfriend, but I wanted to deal with Andrea's story arc separately.


End file.
